I love you, I love you not? / Ma me rada, nema me rada..?

What I really appreciate about the American culture are the words “I love you”. Yet I myself still have problems with saying those words out loud. Why is that? The Czech culture is different. Back where I came from people express love to their child by hugging them, kissing them, calling them cute names but they don’t say “I love you”; it would just sound cheesy, right? Yet, that sentence is so essential to that little kid’s healthy mental development. The psychologists Moorman and Haller agree, claiming that “…those ( “I love you”) are the three essential words that all children need to hear often from their parents“. It’s not like we don’t love out children because we do! So why don’t we express those feelings out loud? What is there to stop us? As one of the Czech participants of the www.myczechrepublic.com forums wrote: I think all these different sensitive words are just not used as often as they are used in English. The use of words “I love you” are sparsely used partly because of the fact that the Czechs are … well, not the most sentimental beings on Earth. It is well-known that we are a nation of intactile people. And in my opinion this emotional distance doesn’t end there – it is reflected in the use of the language as well (much more vividly actually). Because of that, the Czechs do not use strongly expressive words so often (except for cursing :), but the vocab is there (Fei).

Although, as Fei says, Czechs are not the most “touchy-feely” beings on Earth I don’t think that’s good enough of an excuse. I say it’s time for us Czechs to change our “non-sentimental habits”, rise up and push ourselves to become better, more emotional human beings. It’s good for the heart! Let’s start saying those “cheesy” words like “I love you”; let’s cry in front of each other, and let’s hug like crazy! I believe that we can do it. It is hard to come out of that hard shell but it’s the right thing to do….

CZ: Co se mi opravdu libi u Americanu je, ze casto vyslovuji slova “I love you”. I presto, ze jsem takovym fanouskem, tak abych vam pravdu rekla, mam problemy tyto slova v praxi pouzivat. Proc? Ceska kulutra je jina; ja prichazim z prostredi, kde lide vyjadruji lasku svym detem/bliznim mazlenim, pusinkovanim a uzivanim zdrobnelin. Slova “miluji te” nebo “mam te rad” by proste znela kycovite, zejmena kdyz se to pouziva s detmi. Je to ale velka skoda, protoze tato slova jsou velmi dulezita pro jejich zdravy vyvoj. Psychologove Moorman a Haller se mnou souhlasi a to se slovy “…tyto tri slova (mam te rad) jsou nezbytne pro detsky vyvoj a mela by se jim opakovat velmi casto.” Duvodem, proc tuto frazi moc nepouzivame (zejmena s detmi) neni to, ze je nemilujeme. Samozrejme ze ano! Tak proc tyto pocity nevyslovime nahlas? Vzdyt by nas to nic nestalo. Jeden z ucastniku diskuze na toto same tema na “www.myczechrepublic.com/forum” napsala: “Podle meho nazoru se tyto sensitivni slova proste neuzivaji tak casto jako v anglictine. Slova “miluji te/mam te rad” se v ceske kulture moc neuzivaji zcasti protoze Cesi nejsou temi nejsentimentalnesimi osobami na svete. Je kazdemu znamo, ze jsme dosti stoicky narod. A tato emocionalni odmerenost se take ukazuje v cestine samotne (tam je to videt i mnohem snadneji). Diky tomu Cesi nepouzivaji emocionalni vyrazy az tak casto – samozrejme.ze nadavky se nepocitaji 🙂 – i kdyz to ve slovni zasobe mame.” To, ze Cesi proste nejsou “citlivky” mi prijde jako chuda vymluva. Ja si myslim, ze je na case, abychom ze sebe tuto tvdou kuru oloupali a nechali se citove trosku obmekcit. Prodlouzi nam to zivot! Zacneme tedy pouzivat “kycovite” vyrazy jako “miluji te”, plakat na verejnosti a horecne se objimat (i treba s kombinaci naseho tradicniho potrasani ruky)…udela nam to dobre…

http://fatherhood.about.com/od/parentingadvice/ht/sayiloveyou.htm

http://www.myczechrepublic.com/boards/viewtopic.php?p=35817