Life with a Czech husband (Sue’s story) / Zivot s ceskym manzelem (jak to vidi Sue)
June 10, 2008
Sue is my fellow blogging buddy from Atlanta (sueczech.wordpress.com) who happens to be married to a Czech guy. I asked her if she would be nice enough to jot down some thoughts about this Czech experience from her point of view and here is what she wrote: (great story! Thank you Sue!!)
CZ: Jake to je byt Americankou vdanou za Cecha? Sue - moje blogarska kamoska - je jednou z techto zen. Poprosila jsem ji, zda-li by nam o tomto celozivotnim zazitku mohla neco prozradit….
SUE’S STORY
I’ve known my husband for 10 years, and in that time I’ve seen him grow from very Czech, to very American, and now to a happy medium of the two.
The first Czech I saw in him is when we initially met. He was young, skinny, hyper, and barely knew English. He had this lust for life about him that included the American Dream. He dressed in expensive clothes, tried to impress me with name brand gifts, and always had to show me what he bought with all the money he was making. He didn’t talk much about home although I asked all the time. The only thing I knew about the Czech Republic was to not call it Czechoslovakia.
In the next few years of dating, I saw him go closer and closer to the American way and all but recant his Czech citizenship. He wanted so much to be an American, although I kept accenting on how it’s important for him to be Czech in America rather than be American with a Czech upbringing. He has to maintain his individuality and personality, and not follow the herd of Americans on what’s cool and what’s not. But he was young, he had a tight upbringing where they didn’t have much… and suddenly, he’s making great money in the United States. He lived it up.
The only other Czechs I knew were his friends. I understood the culture of drinking beer, eating chlebicky, and sitting around talking til 2am. Then I met his mother. Finally, I understood who he was. His mom, 100%. I think at that moment, I realized that his ways were not Czech ways, they were simply genetics.
I still still in the dark about who Czechs really were.
But then 2 years ago, we (including daughter) all went to Czech to visit his home town. Suddenly, the people, sights, sounds, culture absolutely exploded for me. The more I spoke to these people (especially by the second visit) the more I understood him.
My husband has funny Czech sayings, he loves to watch fairy tales, and he absolutely has to be outside at least 2 hours every day. He always wanted me to cook as fresh as possible and never understood how I can go to the grocery store only once a week. He loves to gossip with his buddies.. and they’re worse than the girls. He’s a work-a-holic and he’s dedicated to taking care of his family. He’s not below of bugging the crap out of his friends to find work if his current job is going slow.
I realized many Czechs are this way… and it was an epiphany for me. I came back to America a little less American. Suddenly, being American wasn’t such a proud thing to be. We’re so behind the times even in the middle of our technology boom. We lost touch with ourselves and our neighbors. Many of us can’t smell rain before it pours down. We don’t know how to garden or how to take care of our own home. We sit far from each other at parks or avoid each other’s gazes while walking past. Or hell, we may not walk at all!
Being married to a Czech man has increased my awareness of how different cultures are, how to stop identifying myself as an American and becoming more human.
And he also taught me how to make the greatest thing on Earth:
KRUPICE!!!!
Loading ...
Awww! Thanks for posting this! I should do a cross post with you on what it’s like to be married to an American man! Would you do it?
By the way.. the website is sueczech.wordpress.com
No, thank you! What an interesting story…I will definitely return you your favors
Thank you for this story. I am also married to a Czech man and a lot of the things you have described when first meeting him was exactly the same as me. I also went to visit his home and you do realize that Europe is so very different than America! I love CZ so much and I miss my mother in law! I realize how so fast pace it is in America, and how every so nice it is to stop and smell the roses every once in a while. Again, thanks for the post.
Hi,thanks for sharing this story! I am also married to a Czech man, but am living in the Czech Republic. I can readily relate to all the things you mentioned–as I am living them every day! It is a wonderful adventure to be living here and experiencing Europe. I have the best of both world–Old and New!! Thanks again for this post!!
Hi Sher,
that would be a great contrast to write about! If you are interested in writing us a little story about how is it to be married to a Czech guy AND living in Czech that would be great! Please, contact me if you would like to do that (I hope you say yes!)
Tanja
Hi. Being of Czech origin and, before she died, married for many years to a Czech woman, I appreciate Sue’s story. But I do not understand what’s so great about “krupice”. I can understand knedlíky (even my son does) and buchty and the way us Czechs prepare cabbage, but krupice?
N.B. You have been to Czecho more recently than I: Are Czechs now as obese as many Americans?
Svato
Krupice is the best! I guess it holds more of a sentimental feeling for me as it reminds me of my childhood. But even with all of the sentiment aside, it is definitely a comfort food and I LOVE comfort food..hmmmmm
I do find a lot of Czech food fantastic, but I had eaten them already in some form. The dumplings, goulash, etc.. but krupice was an entirely new form of food. I mean, reducing semolina with milk? Who would’ve thunk it!? It’s sweet, melts in your mouth, and as Tanja says.. very comforting.
I didn’t find Czechs to be obese at all. The babickas, yes, but no one really under the age of 50. However, for me, this observation was made near Ostrava and Opava.. I don’t know about anywhere else.
[...] Filed under: Stories of others — Tanja @ 4:26 pm moviesWhat Czech movies do Americans love? My blogging buddy Sue, who is an American married to a Czech guy, wrote a list of her “Top 8″ (click here ) [...]
I think Sue summed up my experiences being married to a Czech man best with this sentence:
“I came back to America a little less American.”
Thank you Tanja and Sue.
I am a Czech man and reading all those posts I feel quite flattered. But don’t think only American women love us!! It does not have anything to do with American-Czech differences. My wife is not American neither Czech and when she starts describing Czech men, I feel very loved and adored.
My kids are already grown-ups and guess what food they like me to cook? : “Dukatove buchticky s vanilovou omackou”……
What????? You can make dukatove buchticky s vanilovou omackou??????? Your kids are so lucky!! If that is the only thing they keep from the Czech culture then then they are set
can you share the recipe???
It is a wonderful story. Here is a question.I am a woman from an Asian country, now studying at a Univetsity in America, and I have a Czech classmate. He is a nice guy. But recently, when we went to some parties with some classmates, sometimes he touched my hair. One time when we sat on the carpet talking about something , he patted my knees. I think I like him, or maybe this kind of feeling will develop into love. But I am not sure what he thinks of me. Does his behaviour mean he love me? I want to get your help. Could you reply to my email? Thank you.
Hi Jane,
sounds like he likes you! It is always good to ask just to make sure…
Jane,
my answer would be: I had touched hair of one girl and it did not develop into love. I had touched hair of another girl and now I have been married to her 32 years. And don’t worry, he does not think of you anything bad. He is just showing you he likes you.
Don’t analyze it too much. Use you heart, not head and don’t expect miracles…
Thank you all for the reply. Yes, I prefer to analyze too much, because I think there is too much cultural difference between my Czech classmate and me.
Yesterday, we went to lunch after class. And he said he welcome me to visit Czech someday and live at his house. I can have my own room and we can go for travelling around Europe. And everytime afere lunch he insisted on buying me coffee. I don’t know. I think he likes me , but I am not sure…Maybe I got him wrong. I can’t ask him directly. That is not good.I am troubled. SO PLEAS HELP me.
Yes, Jane he likes you. Go with the flow. He’s a man and men are the same all around the world (more or less!) they like women.
Good blog, Tanja. I just found it and am hooked!
Jane, let him to buy the coffe….You are not obliged to anything….To make him happy, buy him a beer.
Yes Jane, I agree with both Veronika and Vlastimil…your situation looks pretty good!! :))
PS: By the way, Vlastimil, did you find that ‘dukatove buchticky recipe’?? Maybe you could guest post on CMD with it!!
And thank you Veronika! I am glad you like my blog
Tanja, mimochodem, ja znam nekolik Cesek (neprimo)
Pokusim se z nich vymamit ten recept na dukatove buchticky, nejak si to proste nepamatuju….
Jinak na slovenskem webu jsem nasel tento recept:
Koupime vanocku, rozkrajime na kosticky a zalejeme rozredenym vanilkovym pudingem
Thank you guys. Actually, my situation doesn’t look good, because our study here in America will end up in June and he will come back to his country at the end of June. I don’t know his feelings but I know I like him now. He is hard-working and I think he is also a faithful man. He has a girlfriend in Czech. But he seldom talks about his girlfriend. And he just mentioned that he doesn’t believe in the love-at-first-sight. He developed his relations with his girlfriend from acquatiance to friend and then to lover. So maybe what he said and did just shows that he is interested in me, i know it is impossible for us to get together. I remember he always said I am like his mother. It is sad now to think about all these things. We had many happy moments together, but it is sad to keep these memories in mind. We are planning to drive to Lake Tahoe together with a American woman and her boyfriend. Because I like that place and he said he will go there with me. I do hope we stay toghther for a long time. But…..In Buddhism, there is the past life, the present life and the future life. I hope what happened in our past lives, so I can’t be with him for a long time. Just like a punishment. Now all I can do is waiting for the time to say goodbye. It is hard…I am lucky to share my feelings here on this blog and can get reponse from the kind-hearted people.
Sometimes I caught him watching me intently. I feel a bit nervous but also happy. But soon it will come to the end.
Jane,
the past life is already behind you. If you miss your chance in this present life, maybe you will get more luck in your future life… Even if we are kind-hearted people, I know, that at least me, I cannot help you. This is a situation that only you can resolve … One thing I can tell you…in order to develop a healthy love affair, there must be at least two people willing to participate …
He has a girlfriend. I can do nothing. I didn’t expect I would like a man from a different culture. And even the great diffreence in looks. He has blonde hair, blue eyes and I have black hair and black eyes. And I even become a liitle superstitious now because of him. Because he told me he is a Capricon, so I think maybe the feeling I have for him is totally impossible. So, what I can do now is to give up.
Haha, this is funny - both the post and the discussion below it.
My wife’s Aussie, I’m Czech, and I think it’s a great mix - somewhat more exciting, even after the 3 and half years together - we still have these little misunderstanding, caused by the difference in upbringing and culture. Like we’re taught to wash hands vigorously before each meal, while Aussies seem to wash them only before the most complicated brain surgery (if they don’t forget) … just an example. :))) I was amused when the prime minister here had a speech for the news, advising Aussies to wash their hands with soap, as a response and prevention for the swine flu :))))) Seriously, come on. :)) And this could go on and on. I love it and I think so does me wifey. 
Jane, I’m not sure how your story ended, whether you got together with the guy or not, but I must say it wouldn’t surprise me if he was really very much attracted to you. For some reason, I’m noticing, a lot of Czech guys seem to have huge interest in Asian girls, especially when they’re overseas, not so much at home in the Czech Republic. I wonder why is that?
I’ve met lots and lots of couples like that. There must be something about yous! 
Wow, so you are Czech and the wifey is Australian! That’s a new one! Maybe you could write a little guest post about that? It sounds like you got stories to tell…:))
I think it’s because Asian ladies tend to be hard-workers, like us Czech girls :))
Tanja> Yes, there would be a few, I’ll see if I can write anything down though - very busy at the moment
Keep up the good work, I’ll check your blog every now and then. 
Or you can subscribe :)) (You get a bunch of goodies with it and won’t miss anything)